This past weekend, I celebrated my grandfather's eighty-fifth birthday (yay Grandda!) with my immediate family, and a good portion of my extended family who came in for the occasion. It was a wonderful party, and many of them thet we don't see often got to meet Ben for the first time.
Our upcoming wedding was a topic of conversation many times throughout the weekend. "Are you using Caterer X? Country Club Y?" "Well, surely you're going with Venue Z!" "So-and-so got married at the lake, and did A, B, and C." ...all of which were pretty spendy options.
As a young couple just starting out, especially after just buying a house, our budget is a bit modest. My parents have gone absolutely above and beyond, and are helping us out in ways that I never would have imagined. (Let's put it this way: without my parents' help, we'd be using Golden Arches Catering. Think about it for a second; you'll laugh.)
I was getting myself all worked up about everyone else's expectations, which is very unlike me. I actually had a good 'ol Wedding Nightmare about my lovingly created DIY projects being laughed during the ceremony.
It took a good talking to from Ben to get out of the icky frame of mind that I was in. First of all, my relatives are wonderful people! Nobody was trying to make me feel bad about our budget or my choices. That was all in my head. They were simply offering up their ideas and suggestions with only good intentions.
The point I'm trying to make here... while it's hard not to get caught up in having the Most Amazing Expensive Blowout Wedding of All Time, the only people who I should be worrying about are myself, Ben, and our parents. And frankly, even if I had oodles of money just laying around, I don't think there's much I'd change. Getting married at the place where I've spent every summer of my life IS my dream wedding, not a consolation venue. A country club wedding isn't 'us' any more than a big poufy princess dress is 'me.'
Which is not to say that it's a horrible thing to spend extravagantly for a wedding. It's your day, so if you've got the money to spend, go for it! I just can't imagine us going into debt for our wedding. Yes, it is one of the most important days of our life, but it is just one (albeit amazing, special, and breathtaking) day on the way to thousands of days of a loving marriage. :)
Recommended reading:
- Something Borrowed, Something Due
- On Wedding Debt, A Cautionary Tale
- DIY Bride: Wedding Debt
4 comments:
DEBT SUCKS!
I don't much care for debt at all.
Yikes, those nightmares suck. I'm sure no one would dare laugh at your creations though *hugs*. I'm glad Ben was able to help you out of that frame of mind. This is your day, and you're making it totally yours. Kudos to you for that! ^_^
I just stumbled upon your blog through the linky love posted on the diybride. I can't tell you how much this post puts my mind at ease. First of all, to know I'm not alone in feeling these pressures, or feeling caught up in having the blowout of the year. But it's great reassurance to hear that it really will be well received by those that matter most... and the rest, well we know what to do with those opinions :) Thanks and I'll be checking for more insightful wedding tips!
It's so awesome to meet like-minded brides on teh internets! Thanks for reading, caseylaine! :-D
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